Thursday, December 31, 2009
Cruel Temptation
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Sea
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Medicine
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Some Rules are Flawed
“Not everything that is immoral has to be illegal.” Read this from a newspaper article some time back.
I thought to myself, “Likewise, not everything that is illegal has to be immoral.”
And, “Not everything that is illegal has to be logical.”
What does this say about rules?
That they are man-made.
And that’s why some rules can be changed from time to time; they lack consistency.
And that’s why Some Rules are Flawed.
Myopic Vision & Fickle-mindedness
It does not take much to sway with the wind, does it?
It definitely takes a lot more to stand your ground.
Regardless the direction of the wind.
Because winds change direction.
Every now and then.
They come and they go.
As kingdoms rise and kingdoms fall.
As the cold wind blows…
Do we stay or do we go?
Look not at each sea wave that rushes ashore towards destruction.
But the far horizon of the sea.
the bullet
“We have decided the bullet must have been going very fast” to have killed the man.
The.
Some things are so obvious you don’t have to say it.
Some things are so obvious you assume so much you don’t realise it.
He sat at the cafe, watching the people in front of him, pass him by.
He saw people who looked happy and he wondered to himself, “Why do they look so happy?”
He saw people who looked sad and he wondered to himself, “Why do they look so sad?”
Then, he made up stories of their pasts to match their faces.
Stories why.
“I would encourage anyone to travel alone.” To get out of their bubble world. To learn stories about others. Lessons about themselves. To learn stories so sad yours is not worth a mention, that it pales in significance , and you don’t feel so bad anymore. To learn things so happy others pale in comparison thereafter. It is with these stranger-friends you meet along your journey in these foreign worlds that you can say whatever you want, do whatever you want, confide your secrets, bare your all. And they do the same. Because nobody cares who you are. Not pretentious. Because nobody cares.
“After Ibiza, you wouldn’t want to party anywhere else.”
“After hearing others’ tragic stories, you wouldn’t complain so much anymore; you learn to say ‘ok lor’.”
“Why do they look so happy?”
“Why do they look so sad?”
Can One Person Change the World?
I posed the question: “Can one person change the world?”
The answer was: “For evil, yes it’s easier; for good, no it’s hard.”
The rationale was: “If you throw a pebble into water, ten thousand others throw it with you; if you pick up a pebble, you have to pick up ten thousand others yourself.”
Yes, I tend to agree. I’m not pessimistic anymore. I’m a realist. I try to be optimistic.
I certainly hope this is not the case.
Forever
Forever is not a timeline. Forever is a feeling.
Forever is not reality. Forever is an ideal scenario. A figment of our imagination. A concept we cling on to.
It exists though, not as an entity on its own, but a subset of the subject.
Yes, not “happiness”. But “moments of happiness”. Not knowing how tomorrow might turn out to be.
Forever can be that moment. Once past, is history, not to be experienced again, and hence forever already in its own right.
Forever can be that split-second.
Forever can be those few minutes.
Forever can be a simple sentence: “Don’t shake your legs.” In the sincerest voice. By a person you might only meet once in your life.
Forever can be 51/2 years.
51/2 years can be forever.
You can be 51/2 years old forever.
For as long as it lasts, it is forever.
When you no longer cling on to “forever”.
Forever?
Forever…
or
Forever.
Forever does not have to last forever.
The clown
They say the original clown wore an inverted smile.
He entertained, but at his own expense.
These days, the clown wears a smile on his face.
A painted smile?
A forced mask?
Or an evolved clown?
The clown no longer wears an inverted smile.
Maybe, the clown has learnt to smile.
And really smile.
The evolved clown.
The original clown wore an inverted smile.
The original clown or the evolved clown?
The smile or the inverted smile? =)
Alone rockz!...well...sometimes
One of the advantages of going out alone is that you do not have to accommodate others. You do not have to smile, you do not have to make small talk, you do not have to spare a thought for others. And that was what I experienced when I went to the movies myself, went to the night market myself, went to the pub to listen to the live band myself, went to eat chicken rice balls myself. All the time for yourself. All focus on yourself. Finding yourself. Almost an indulgence. It was a good feeling. Did it once. Did it again. Will continue to do so from time to time.
Why? Because sometimes you are so tired of smiling and trying to be nice to others when others do not try to smile or be nice to you. Not a saint but you know you have tried to be good to others but others do not seem to try to be good to you; in fact, they begin to think you are a pushover. When every good seems to be forgotten and each bad remembered. When a sheet of white paper with a black dot is noticed only for its black dot. When whatever credit you thought you might have built up counts for nothing really.
I really don’t want to be calculative. But I really don’t want to be too accommodating either. How many can you accommodate in your life? How many would you like to accommodate in your life? Seriously, people who matter. I don’t want to be too accommodating. I’ll keep this at the back of my head. And continue to be the same, the way I deem right.
What if?
What if you could do it all over again?
What if you had a second chance?
What if we had known each other earlier?
What if another decision was made, another path taken?
What if everything did not turn out this way?
In life, I think, there are no “What Ifs”.
& that is why you want to be “In the Moment”.
Meetings
“When was the last time we met?”
“Half a year ago? At Bugis?”
“No, that wasn’t a meeting. We bumped into each other.”
There are already some meetings which do not feel like meetings.
Big fish Small Fish
That where and when we were born already determines for us what we can and cannot do, what doors are opened and what doors are closed to us. That our birth determines for us through what lens we see the world already. The potential of our dreams.
What it means to be born rich or poor. What it means to be born a boy or a girl. What it means to be born Chinese, or Malay, or Caucasian; Asian, or African, or European; Singaporean, or Filipino, or Bangladeshi, or British , or American. What it means to be born impaired. What it means to be born in a third-world country.
Big Fish Small Fish
Big Pond Small Pond
Big Dreams Small Dreams
I’m not saying that we should not dare to dream but that we should be more realistic at the same time. First we learn to crawl then we walk then we run then we fly. That we should be more aware of our world and what it allows and does not allow us to do. To analyse, recognise, and then accept the situation we are in before we are ready to move on. Acceptance. Of our freedom, our boundaries; our possibilities, our limitations. To be “free in the captivity of freedom”. Or to have the “liberty of limitations”? I know “Slumdog Millionaire” is an inspiring movie and it still is. But how many “Slumdog Millionaires” are there?
So the next time you see me, don’t ask me why Singaporean actors cannot compete with Hongkong actors or cannot break into the Hongkong market, and why Hongkong actors cannot then easily break into Hollywood. Don’t ask why the S-League cannot compare to the English Premier League, nor why Singapore hosted the SEA Games and China hosted the Olympic Games. Don’t ask why we have different skin colours or eye colours. The answer is simple. It’s not whether we are necessarily better or worse in terms of quality but that we live in vastly different conditions, cater to different markets, some only so big and some only so small, some lines can be crossed and some lines not, that certain things are already predetermined for us.
I’m not saying though that doors closed to us will forever be closed to us. A few of them, some of them can still be opened along the way. With enough determination, with more effort, with spirit, with correct method. There is that possibility. Since they say “nothing is impossible”, right? Right. I hate this “nothing is impossible” cliche by the way.
Do you want to be a Small Fish in a Big Pond? Or a Big Fish in a Small Pond?
Does the Small Fish belong only to the Small Pond? And the Big Fish only to the Big Pond?
Can the Small Fish one day make it to the Big Sea? Or the Ocean? And can the Small Fish survive?
Are you a Big Fish or a Small Fish?
No, you’re not belittling yourself when you say you’re a Small Fish; it’s a matter of relativity. No, you’re not getting everything just because you’re the Big Fish. What the Big Pond offers, the Small Pond might lack; but what the Small Pond has, the Big Pond might not.
That’s my “Big Fish Small Fish” story. That’s my “Big Fish Small Fish” theory. Of Dreams. And of Life.
What kind of Fish are You?
I think it’s getting a little Fishy out here.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
How are you?
Monday, October 5, 2009
"A Friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of Nature."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) US poet & essayist.
"Keep your friendships in repair."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (as above)
"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"If a man does not make new acquaintance as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, Sir, should keep his friendship in constant repair."
- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) British lexiographer.
"True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice."
- Samuel Johnston, (as above)
"It is more shameful to distrust one's friends than to be deceived by them."
- Duc de la Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) French writer.
"If it is abuse - why one is always sure to here of it from one damned good-natured friend or other!"
- Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751 - 1816) British dramatist.
"Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company."
- George Washington (1732 - 1799) US Statesman.
"True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."
- George Washington, (as above)
"I can never think of promoting my convenience at the expense of a friend's interest and inclination."
- George Washington, (as above)
"Should auld aquaintance be forgot, And never brought to min'?"
- Robert Burns (1759 - 1796) Scottish poet.
"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us."
- Epicurus (341 - 270 BC) Greek philosopher.
"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us."
- Epicurus (as above)
"These are called the pious frauds of friendship."
- Henry Fielding (1707 - 1754) British novelist.
"Always, Sir, set a high value on spontaneous kindness. he whose inclination prompts him to cultivate your friendship of his own accord, will love you more than one whom you have been at pains to attach to you."
- Samuel Johnston (1709 - 1784) British lexicographer.
"Sir, I look upon every day to be lost, in which I do not make a new acquantaince."
- Samuel Johnston, (as above)
"To like and dislike the same things, that is indeed true friendship."
- Sallust (86 - 334 BC) Roman historian
"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."
- Euripides, Greek playwrite
"My friends are my estate."
- Emily Dickinson
- William Blake
- Miguel de Cervantes (1547 - 1616) Spanish novelist.
- Confucious (551 - 497 BC) Chinese philosopher.
- Jacques Delille (1738 - 1813) French poet.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
LIGHT
I try to hold,
But the darkness breaks
My walls, and leaves me
Defenseless.
In, rushing silently
Like a thousand horsemen,
The darkness floods my soul.
I want to scream in terror,
But I cannot, for the darkness,
Like the cold hard vacuum
Of space,
Has sucked away my breath.
So there I stand, silently horrified,
Yet utterly unable to do anything
For myself.
Then,
Without any warning,
A brilliant light floods the crevices of my soul,
Which even I, in the darkness,
Had forgotten existed.
The light dispels in an instant
The darkness that had taken years
To take hold,
And remains,
Causing me to feel
Lightheaded.
Again, I want to scream,
This time, not in agony,
But in ecstasy.
But the light holds itself
Across my mouth,
And I cannot speak.
Instead, I bask forever
In the light which
Came when I didn’t ask for it.
But it came when I needed it most,
And for that,
I love the light.
Love
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7, 13
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails...And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
--
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I never give them hell. I just tell the truth and they think its hell. -Harry S. Truman
You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad. -Aldous Leonard Huxley, British writer
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning. -Albert Einstein
